In today's plugged-in world, condolences don't even necessarily need to come in person or over the phone to be heard. Just acknowledging a death can be very comforting," Phillips told Mic. "Silence around death and grief can be as painful as saying the wrong thing. I still find myself bothered, wondering, 'Why didn't so-and-so say anything to me when my mother died?'"ĭolly Phillips, the clinical coordinator of school and children's programs at Our House Grief Support Center in Los Angeles, agreed. "It really all comes down to - just acknowledge the loss. You want them to know that they are not alone," Kelly*, 27, whose mother died recently, told Mic. "I believe, if you care about someone, and you know they are grieving, it is your obligation to acknowledge that grief. If you are close enough to an individual to even ask yourself, "Should I say something to them because I know their loved one just died?" the answer is absolutely, yes, you should. For anyone who has ever struggled with the wording of a card, offered condolences via emoji or gone radio silent during a friend's time of need, these are the five stages of helping a friend through grief. To find out what is and isn't helpful to say to a grieving friend or colleague, Mic asked 20-somethings who had recently suffered a loss about what helped them and what they actually needed from their friends during their grieving process. As writer Tim Lawrence once wrote, such platitudes are "the kind of bullshit that destroys lives." And while platitudes like, "Every cloud has a silver lining," and, "Everything happens for a reason," might seem like helpful things to say to someone who's suffering a loss, they can often have the opposite intended effect. When dealing with a friend's grief, it's not uncommon to feel totally out of your depth, especially if you haven't experienced a significant loss of your own. We need to learn not only how to handle a friend's grief, but how to handle it well. Whether a coworker loses their mother, a college roommate's brother passes or a childhood friend's father dies, as we progress through our twenties, supporting those close to us through grief becomes an increasingly common process. As we age, we become all too familiar with loss.
0 kommentar(er)
